FelChennn

“Sometimes you have to stop trying to control everything

and let life happen the way it's supposed to, even if it's not

exactly the way you wanted.

But what if it's not even a little like you wanted?

Then you deal with it and keep going.”

My mind, they are in a mess right now, i asked myself over and over again how did things landed in this situation? maybe just maybe, its me being too judgmental its just me having my heart closed up against all other opinions and ideas. Maybe just maybe, there is this slightest chance that i could be like them, enjoying Junior College life and having fun in their CCAs, swarm in blissfulness every single day if i held a different attitude. But then i think again, is it really possible with this group of people? really , no.. its not just me being judgy or what, its just that we are really different people, we find joy in different stuff and we never quite understand each other, the way we communicate, the things we like, the jokes we are used to, the language we speak, the clothes we wear, the music we listen to, none of them coincides, we are like people living in 2 different world.. and sad to say i wont bother changing myself to fit into their world.

Its the frustration, the sadness and the anger that JC life is nothing like i thought it would be, the prayer for a close and fun class that dint came true, teammates as close as family that dint succeed, its the regret that JC life would be over without people i would miss or friends that i would be close to even 10 years down the road.. its the sorrow that memories made here aren't the unforgettable ones and the pain you feel from the possibility of a happy JC life i could have if i had chosen to go somewhere else.

Surface friends, superficial friends.. that's the closest we might ever get..

Read this somewhere today ：

"Today my heart feels fragile, but so full, all at once.

If I forced the feeling into words it would be this: there is more to life than life itself.

And there's a transcending peace that comes from living beyond the moment.

Hope makes everything worthwhile.

Please don't lose it before you find it."